Whatever Love Means Read online

  “Take a minute, Maggie.” The obstetrician said as she did something down below. “The baby’s head is right there. One more push, and you’ll have your little boy or girl.”

  “You hear that, Mag? One more push.”

  “Get away from me,” she snarled.

  Travis laughed and kissed the top of her head. He scurried around to the base of the hospital bed and bent over beside the doctor.

  “Okay, Maggie. One more good push.”

  She gritted her teeth, folded forward, and bore down. The nurse had told her it would feel like pooping out a watermelon. This was one enormous watermelon.

  “Grrrrrr.” Her growls turned to a primal scream as intense pressure consumed her body, followed by a sweet release. She fell against the cool sheets as tears streamed down her face.

  “You did it, Maggie,” Travis cheered.

  “You’ve got a girl.” The doctor handed the baby to a waiting nurse, who placed the sticky, warm body on Maggie’s chest. Travis rushed to her side and smiled down at his daughter.

  “Look at her. She’s beautiful,” he said, placing a kiss on Maggie’s lips. “You did it, Mag.”

  “Yeah.”

  Instead of instantly falling in love like she’d read in all the books, a heavy load of fear dropped on her chest. They were teenagers with a baby—Travis was eighteen and she was sixteen. Too young to be parents. None of that seemed to bother him though. He was snapping pictures, and shadowing the nurse as she took the baby away to be cleaned and measured. He was downright giddy—the idiot.

  They lived in a dumpy, one-bedroom apartment on the Air Force base with no friends or family around. Her mom was supposed to come as soon as the baby was born to help for a couple of weeks. Maggie hadn’t graduated from high school, so what kind of job could she get? Then again, how could she work with a newborn? They barely scratched by on Travis’s pay, so how could they afford a baby?

  “Here you go, little momma.” The nurse placed the swaddled baby in her arms as she tugged Maggie’s gown below her breast. “Why don’t you try to nurse her? Your milk probably isn’t in yet, but it will be good to let your baby suckle your breast.”

  Gross! Of course she planned to breast feed—that was the best thing for her baby—but did the nurse have to talk about it with Travis in the room?

  “Do you have a name picked out?” The nurse asked.

  “Carly Timbrook Kane.” Travis had sidled up to the bed and leaned in to watch the nurse lift Maggie’s breast into the baby’s mouth.

  “Carly Kane. I like it.” The nurse fiddled with her bare breast a few seconds more, leaving Maggie mortified. Couldn’t she just do this on her own? “See there. She’s latching on.”

  Maggie pulled her gaze from the ceiling tiles and glanced down at her tiny baby girl. She had fuzzy blond hair and dark blue eyes. Her pink lips were suctioned to her breast, filling Maggie with a warm, gooey feeling. She and Travis had made this small, sweet human being. She fell in love with her baby girl right then and there.

  * * *

  A monitored beeped, interrupting Maggie’s story. “Travis?” She rushed to the side of his bed, and Carly squeezed in tight beside her. “Wake up. We’re here.”

  One of the jagged lines on a monitor jumped, and Carly grabbed her arm. “His eyelids flickered.”

  “Travis, it’s Maggie. Carly and I are here. You’re going to be okay. Open your eyes.”

  This time his eyes fluttered, and his right arm jerked.

  “He hears us, Mom.” Carly leaned closer to Travis, brushing her fingers over his forehead. “Dad, it’s okay. Wake up. Mom and I are here.”

  Suddenly, a rapid beeping split the quiet and three medical personnel rushed in. They shoved Carly and Maggie out of the way and hovered over Travis.

  “You’ll have to wait outside.” The kind nurse who had pulled up an extra chair all but pushed them out of the room. “Go back to the waiting room. We’ll come find you later.”

  She shut the door behind them, leaving them alone and confused in the hallway. Carly fell into Maggie’s arms and held on with a death grip.

  “Come on, honey. Let’s go get something to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “You haven’t had much all day. Come on.”

  She forced Carly forward down the hall and through the swinging doors. Her body shook, mimicking the quivers shooting through Maggie’s body. What happened? One minute he was resting and the next he was setting off alarms. Was it something they did or said? She hated to see Carly so upset. Surely she didn’t blame herself for his changing condition. Maybe he wasn’t ready for visitors yet. His body had been traumatized, so perhaps their words were too much for him to handle.

  He would be okay. He had to be.

  They found Riley and Derek standing together as they rounded the corner into the waiting room. A large brown bag hung from Derek’s hand.

  “Oh, my gosh, there you are.” Riley swept the two of them into her arms. “We brought you something to eat.”

  “Thanks so much.” Maggie gave her an extra squeeze before leading them to a corner seating area.

  “How’s Travis?” Derek asked as he pulled sandwiches out of the bag, setting them on the coffee table.

  “He’s in the ICU,” Carly said.

  “We were just with him, but some alarms went off, and they asked us to leave,” Maggie said before taking a long drink of iced tea.

  “They told us to talk to him, but I think we upset him,” Carly said.

  “We didn’t do anything wrong, Car. Your dad is real fragile right now.”

  “Your mom’s right. The first twenty-four hours after surgery are critical,” Riley said.

  “Travis is tough. He’ll get through it,” Derek said.

  “I know,” Carly took a huge bite from her sandwich—it was the first time today her daughter had shown a real interest in food, having barely touched the chicken nuggets from earlier. “Dad’ll be fine,” she mumbled with her mouth full.

  Unlike Carly, Maggie still had no appetite. She was content just to sip some sweet tea.

  “We boxed up the leftover food from the reception and took it to the homeless shelter,” Riley said as she settled next to Derek on a love seat across from them. “Buddy wanted me to store it in the refrigerator at the community center.”

  “He figured you’d get married tomorrow,” Derek said. “Or I guess I should say today.”

  “I know. He was here earlier.”

  “We didn’t see that happening though,” Riley said.

  “No way. Not with Dad in the hospital.” Carly took another mouthful of sandwich, her eyes glaring emphatically.

  “Carly’s right. I can’t think about a wedding now. Buddy and I will figure something out later.”

  “I left the flowers at the community center. There’s a reunion or something scheduled.”

  Maggie’s eyes prickled with unshed tears. She reached out to Riley and gathered her hand in her hers. “Riley, I’m so sorry. You worked hard on the flowers. They were so pretty.”

  “It’s okay. Someone else will enjoy them.”

  “I feel terrible about running out. Everyone had pitched in to make it special for us.”

  “That’s what friends are for. Don’t worry about it.” Riley squeezed Maggie’s hand and then released it, pushing a sandwich toward her. “You have to eat something or you’ll be no help to Carly or Travis.”

  Reluctantly, Maggie took a bite of the BLT, and her stomach replied with a mighty growl. Riley was right to push food on them. She didn’t know what Travis would need when he woke up, and it was important they kept up their strength. As she ate, Riley and Derek continued reviewing what had happened since she’d left the church.

  “Penny took the liquor back to the Brass Rail, but Tucker tapped a keg,” Derek said.

  “Since we went ahead and served the food, he insisted everyone have a beer,” Riley said. “He raised a toast to Travis’s quick recovery.”


  “Thanks so much for taking care of everything. I owe you big time.”

  “No, you don’t.” Riley flicked her hand and chuckled. “We were happy to handle everything. After we had things cleaned up and had dropped off the extra food, we went over to the Brass Rail to check on Penny. She was a bit frazzled.”

  “Why? She was here earlier and seemed fine. Did someone not show up to work?”

  “No, she was getting ready to come up here to the hospital, but discovered she needed ones and fives. She asked Derek to run down to the convenience store since the bank was closed.”

  “What do you mean? We always have extra cash on hand.”

  “She couldn’t find it. But it was no big deal. Derek got a hundred dollars’ worth of small bills, which she said would get them through the night.”

  Maggie pressed her fingertips into her temples, fighting back a threatening headache. Usually the one to take care of banking for their business, she had purposely gotten extra cash from the bank on Friday to get Penny through the weekend, knowing she couldn’t help out because of the wedding. She loved her sister, but she could be a bit ditzy. Penny had probably put the bank bag somewhere other than their regular hiding place, which was why Maggie took care of their finances.

  “I wish she would’ve said something while she was here. I’ll call her tomorrow. I’m sure she’s figured out what happened by now,” Maggie said, returning to her food.

  Riley and Derek stayed until she and Carly had finished eating, passing hugs around and promises of checking in later. Carly yawned until her jaw cracked and stretched out on a nearby sofa, her eyelids heavy with sleep. There was no point in Maggie staying up. Someone would come get them once Travis was able to have visitors. She curled into the love seat and was asleep as soon as her eyes closed.

  * * *

  Quiet conversation, dusky morning sunlight, and an overhead announcement broke into Maggie’s confusing dreams, pulling her awake. It was early Sunday morning, and the hospital was coming to life. Carly was still deep in sleep on the sofa, so Maggie left her to rest as she went to check on Travis. The ICU was quiet. The incessant beeping of machines was the only sound. The door to Travis’s room was open, so she crept in and took a seat beside his bed.

  He still lay flat on his back with the same IVs and monitors connected to him, but the oxygen mask was gone, and his cheeks had more color. A few nappy dreads lay across his shoulder as his chest rose and fell with slow, steady breaths. She reached out and ran her fingers over the bumpy, matted rope, remembering the first time he had showed up at her door after returning to Highland Springs. He had rung the doorbell, and she hadn’t recognized him at first.

  “I’m back,” he’d said. Travis had landed on her porch four years after they had called it quits, skinny, darkly tanned, and with a full head of shoulder-length dreadlocks. She had slammed the door in his face.

  Maggie stood up and slowly rounded the bed, keeping her gaze on the blanket, the IV pole, the window—anywhere but his head. She wanted a closer look at his injury but feared her stomach couldn’t take it. Once she reached the other side, she closed her eyes briefly, and then opened them to see the line of stitches, tucked among matted hair. His head must have hit the ground. She shuttered at the pain that had shot through him. She ran her fingers over the soft, short hair above his ear, and was slammed by the memory of when she’d first seen him after boot camp. He’d come home for a two-week break over Christmas, handsome in his uniform. She’d loved the feel of his clean-shaven head—“like a newborn puppy.” They had laughed at the analogy as she palmed his head and kissed him until they were breathless.

  With the dreadlocks gone from his left side, he looked like the young, eager man she had married. “Travis,” she whispered, fingering his soft bristles. “Wake up, Trav.”

  He continued breathing steadily, his eyes tightly closed. This time when she spoke, the monitors stayed quiet.

  “Remember when you came home that first Christmas? You showed up at my house with that big stuffed animal?”

  Her fingers trailed down the side of his face, tenderly touching a deepening bruise, and then circled his mouth.

  “It was a fluffy pink cat. You had tied a gold band to its lavender bow. Remember?”

  She lowered the safety bar and eased onto his bed, perching her hip beside him. She ran her thumb back and forth over his lower lip.

  “We went out back, behind my house, and sat on the swing. And you held out that ring to me.” Her eyes blurred over as she cupped his face in her hands. “You said, ‘Someday you’ll have a diamond, but for now will you accept this wedding band?’ Remember?”

  She ran her fingers over his high, sharp cheekbones—the same ones Carly had inherited.

  “I was three months pregnant. We ran away the day after Christmas and got married by a judge. It wasn’t the wedding I had dreamed of as a girl, but it was the happiest day of my life until that point.”

  She leaned in and softly kissed his brow.

  “It was surpassed by the day Carly was born. We made a beautiful baby girl. Best thing we’ve ever done.”

  Maggie sat up and dabbed the dampness from her eyes.

  “Your baby girl needs you, Trav, and so do I. Please wake up.”

  For several minutes, there was no reaction to her request, and Maggie had about given up when Travis’s eyes slowly opened. His eyelids flickered and narrowed, and then he looked up at her in confusion.

  “Hi.” She pressed her hand to his cheek. “You’re awake.”

  Travis blinked a few times, his eyes shifted back and forth, and then he fixed his gaze on Maggie.

  “You’re in the hospital, but you’re going to be okay. Carly and I are here.” Fresh tears stung her eyes, but this time they were joyful. “She’s downstairs. I’ll go get her in a few minutes. We’ve been here all night waiting for you to wake up.”

  Travis turned his head toward the monitors and then rotated back to Maggie. “Why?” His voice was thick and scratchy.

  “You spoke. Oh, Travis.” She leaned over and pressed her cheek to his, and then sat up. “You’re going to be okay.”

  “Why?”

  “Why what?” She leaned close to better hear his weak voice. “Tell me, sweetie.”

  “Why are . . .” He attempted to clear his throat and then croaked his question. “Why’re you here?”

  “I told you. Carly and I have been here all night. You had an accident, but the doctor said you’re going to be fine.”

  “I don’t—”

  “Let me get you some water.” Maggie reached for the plastic bottle and held the spout to his mouth. Travis took a long drink and then coughed. She used the bedsheet to dab the water from his chin.

  “I don’t want . . .”

  “Water? You don’t want any more water? Okay.” She returned the bottle to his bedside table and laid her hand on his shoulder.

  “What can I get you? Maybe I should go find the nurse.”

  “No.”

  “No? Okay, I’ll stay with you.”

  “No. I don’t want you here.” This time his voice was loud and forceful. The thickness and strain replaced with anger. “Go. Go home to your husband.”

  Chapter 9

  Travis crawled to the surface of the muddy swamp, fighting to clear his mind from its drug-induced sleep, and blinked at the sunlight slanting through the blinds. He tossed off the thin blanket, too warm in the silent hospital room. Something was different. There were fewer machines beeping at his side, and there was an empty bed across the room.

  “Dad, you’re awake.” Carly’s pretty face filled the space in front of him as she tapped a kiss to his forehead.

  “Where am I?”

  “They moved you from ICU late last night.”

  “What day is it?”

  “It’s Monday, and you’re so much better.”

  “I don’t feel better. What the hell are they doping me with?”

  “The doctor is supposed to stop in t
his morning. You can ask her.”

  Damn straight he’d ask her. And he’d tell her to wean him off this shit that was making his brain a ball of fuzz. He wanted out of this place so he could get back to work. They were supposed to set the footers for the garage addition this week, and he had to be there. He didn’t have time to lie around in some hospital bed. In fact, he was getting the hell out of here now.

  Travis shoved the covers to the side as he curled forward and stretched out his legs. Pain like a hot knife seared through his side.

  “Ah! Christ.” Stars exploded behind his closed eyelids.

  “Daddy, what are doing?” Carly cupped his shoulders and pushed his back to the mattress. “You can’t get out of bed.”

  “No shit.”

  “You have a broken leg.”

  “Is that why my leg’s throbbing?” He found his lower leg and foot wrapped in a bandage.

  “You’re supposed to get a cast soon. You have broken ribs, and they removed your spleen.” She fluffed the pillow behind his head and pulled the sheets up to his chin. “You need to rest. If you don’t, you’ll go back to ICU.”

  “I hear you.”

  “You need to relax. Let your body heal.” She held a straw to his lips. “Here, drink some water.” Before he could protest, she rammed it into his mouth. “You need to gain back your strength so you can start physical therapy. But before you can do that, you need to rest.”

  Her nagging sounded familiar. “You’re just like your mother.”

  “And if Mom were here she’d say the same thing. We want you to get better, but to do that you need to be patient.”

  “She wouldn’t have said it as nice as that.”

  “Really? How would she have said it?”

  “Lay your ass down, shut the hell up, and listen to the damn doctors.”

  “No, that’s what you would say.” She tweaked his cheek, laughing, and set the water bottle back on the bedside table.

  “Where is Mrs. Garrett by the way?”

  “Dad!” She shook her head as she pulled up a chair beside the bed.

  “On her fourth honeymoon?”